It isn’t only art that’s incompatible with happiness; it’s also science. Science is dangerous; we have to keep it most carefully chained and muzzled.

A moderate addiction to money may not always be hurtful; but when taken in excess it is nearly always bad for the health.

But a man is not forgotten, as long as there are two people left under the sky. One, to tell the story; the other, to hear it.

Stand-up is like a row boat: it&#39;s fun and romantic when you&#39;re choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it&#39;s not as enjoyable; that&#39;s survival.

Written By Demetri Martin

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