To vote is to wield authority; it is the supreme authority from which all other authority derives—such

You are creating a theater of your home leading a life miming others. Invest your real self to make it more innovative

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

Rice is great if you&#39;re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don&#39;t really know what&#39;s happening down there. Who is the real hero?

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That&#39;s like a free compliment and you don&#39;t even gotta be smart to notice it.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I&#39;ll never be as good as a wall.

It&#39;s very dangerous to wave to people you don&#39;t know because what if they don&#39;t have hands? They&#39;ll think you&#39;re cocky.

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car&#39;s headlights and tell you exactly which way it&#39;s coming.

Mitch Hedberg

Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Written By Mitch Hedberg

Written By Mitch Hedberg

Written By Mitch Hedberg

Written By Mitch Hedberg

Written By Mitch Hedberg

Written By Mitch Hedberg

Written By Mitch Hedberg

Written By Mitch Hedberg

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