Mitch Hedberg

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Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.... - Mitch Hedberg - Quotes Donut

Written By Mitch Hedberg

6 Reads • June 2, 2021

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of someth... - Mitch Hedberg - Quotes Donut

Written By Mitch Hedberg

7 Reads • May 31, 2021

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.... - Mitch Hedberg - Quotes Donut

Written By Mitch Hedberg

7 Reads • May 30, 2021

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't reall... - Mitch Hedberg - Quotes Donut

Written By Mitch Hedberg

7 Reads • May 27, 2021

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name a... - Mitch Hedberg - Quotes Donut

Written By Mitch Hedberg

11 Reads • May 14, 2021

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll nev... - Mitch Hedberg - Quotes Donut

Written By Mitch Hedberg

6 Reads • February 21, 2021

It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if the... - Mitch Hedberg - Quotes Donut

Written By Mitch Hedberg

10 Reads • February 10, 2021

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell yo... - Mitch Hedberg - Quotes Donut

Written By Mitch Hedberg

5 Reads • February 4, 2021