When you face challenges, you are progressing in life.

Douglas: You really got to stop doing that. Isabel: Doing what? Douglas: Getting prettier everyday.

Gallons of ink and miles of typewriter ribbon expended on the misery of the unrequited lover; not a word about the utter tedium of the unrequiting.

And this, of course, is the central problem with conspiracy theorists — once you inflexibly accept that something is a conspiracy, any contrary evidence has the paradoxical effect of making your case stronger. Every contradiction deepens the conspiracy.

Written By Chuck Klosterman

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