I had a feeling that as long as I didn’t admit to murdering adorable kittens in front of children, I was going to get the gig.

In the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

I once rescued my son from the fire, neighbors asked me if it was courage, I told them no it was love.

Tanacharison (who could relate to the cow because he claimed that the French had boiled and eaten his father),

Only the French, I thought, could attain orgasm by listening to themselves. It was self-inflicted oral sex. A DIY blowjob.

This is probably the most annoying thing of all to the French. Not only do we pronounce the battles incorrectly (Crécy should be ‘Cray-see’ and Waterloo ‘Watt-air-loh’), with Agincourt (‘Ah-zan-coor’) we even get the spelling wrong.

In French eyes, it was of course doubly wrong to execute a beautiful woman.

Stephen Clarke

Quotes by Stephen Clarke

Written By Stephen Clarke

Written By Stephen Clarke

Written By Stephen Clarke

Written By Stephen Clarke

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