The one thing he didn’t do was discover the comet that bears his name.

Humans invent an imaginary lover and put that mask over the face of the body in their bed. That is the tragedy of language my friend. Those who know each other only through symbolic representations are forced to imagine each other. And because their imagination is imperfect, they are often wrong.

Speaking becomes non-existent the moment you have used your freedom to cause a negative controversy. Speak intelligibly and think wisely.

When I want comfort food, I buy Maltesers. I like all chocolates, but especially those. You can eat them, and because they&#39;re so light, you can convince yourself that they are not actually that fattening.

Written By David Walliams

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