Gordie, the white boy genius, gave me this book by a Russian dude named Tolstoy, who wrote, 'Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.' Well, I hate to argue with a Russian genius, but Tolstoy didn't know Indians, and he didn't know that all Indian families are unhappy for the same exact reasons: the frikkin' booze.

Tend to love yourself more today, tomorrow and with each passing day.

I truly, truly believe that I was going in that direction and all of a sudden fate took me and put me here. It&#39;s like something else has other plans for me.

I hope I never get so hard up I have to do advertisements. I&#39;ve gotten ridiculous offers.

Written By Tracey Ullman

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